Evan Adnams tumblr

animalstalkinginallcaps:

MOM, THIS IS GREG. HE IS MY NEW BOYFRIEND AND WE ARE IN LOVE. SAY HI, GREG.

…

HONEY, IS THIS ABOUT HOW NOBODY ASKED YOU TO THE WINTER FORMAL?

FIRST OF ALL, MOM, NO, AND SECOND OF ALL GREG JUST SAID HELLO TO YOU SO THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS ACKNOWLEDGE HIM.

HONEY, PLEASE. IT’S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. THERE’S ALWAYS NEXT-

I WON’T BE COMING HOME TONIGHT, MOM. OR ANY NIGHT UNTIL PROBABLY APRIL, BECAUSE I’LL BE STAYING HERE AT GREG’S. PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE NOW. GREG, SAY GOODBYE TO MY MOTHER, WHO IS LEAVING NOW.

…

THAT WAS VERY NICE OF YOU TO SAY, GREG. YOU HAVE EXCELLENT MANNERS.

…

I LOVE YOU TOO.